有多少90後，每天都活在人生崩潰的邊緣
健康资讯
1
I fail to understand the “good” part of “good morning”.
我就不明白了，“早上好”到底好在哪裡。
2
If robbers even poke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.
要是有劫匪闖入我的屋子裡找錢，我只會大笑著和他們一起找。
3
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to
make sure I still hate them.每隔一段時間，我就會核對一遍我討厭的人，確保我仍然恨著他們。
4
I’m waiting for the day that scientists discover a cure for
Natural Causes.我等待著科學家成功治愈“順其自然綜合征”的那一天。
5
Old people at weddings always poke me and say
“you’re next.” So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.老人們喜歡在婚禮上戳戳我，並對我說：“下一個就是你啦。”所以，我開始在葬禮上以牙還牙。
6
If I knew I wasn’t going to fall asleep in the last 2 hours, I could have been using the Internet!
早知道花了兩個小時都沒睡著，我本可以好好上上網的。
7
Person is tying…
Person is tying…
Person is tying…
Person is tying…
Person is tying…
Person says:hi
對方正在輸入……
對方正在輸入……
對方正在輸入……
對方正在輸入……
對方正在輸入……
對方說：嗨。
8
Top 4 wishes:
1) To earn money without working.
2) To be smart without studying.
3) To love without being hurt.
4) To eat without getting fat.
四個最想實現的願望：
1. 不勞而獲
2. 不學有術
3. 相愛無傷
4. 狂吃不胖
9
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up …after I finish laughing.
我們是最好的朋友。永遠記住，我會在你摔倒的時候將你扶起……當然，是在我笑夠之後。
10
Don’t feel bad about doing nothing. Pandas don’t do anything and look how great they are!
別為無所事事而懊惱。熊貓什麼也不做，可他們好著呢！
11
Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after you’re in an argument you’ll try to waddle away angrily but still look
adorably cute.身為企鵝最可悲的一點也許是，一場激烈的爭吵後，你邁著堅毅的步伐憤然離開，而在別人眼中卻是一個搖搖擺擺賣萌的小可愛。
12
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
過生日有益健康。研究表明，生日過得越多人活得越久。
13
The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl friend" is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone".
“女朋友”和“女性朋友”之間的區別，就是中間那一個字，我們稱之為
“友情空間”。14
What if I got a boyfriend? I wouldn’t know what to do…
what do they eat? How often do they have to be walked?如果有了男朋友會怎樣？我將無所適從……該喂他們吃什麼？多久溜一次？
15
-what did the ocean say to the other ocean?
-See you later?
-Nothing. It just waved.
——海洋之間會聊些什麼？
——說待會兒會接著嗨（海）？
——它們什麼都不說，只是浪笑。
16
What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I’m coming down with something!
一部電梯會對另一部說什麼？
我想是：“我帶點兒什麼東西就下來啊！”
17
Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat?
That way we could just push off the people we don’t like.
如果世界是平的，不是很好嗎？
那樣我們就可以把不喜歡的人推下去了。
18
Strength is the ability to peak chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and eat just one of those pieces.
真的勇士，敢於徒手將巧克力掰成四瓣，卻只吃其中一塊。
19
True self-control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
真正的自控是等到電影開始才吃爆米花。
20
KISS
Best way to shut a girl up.
接吻：讓女孩閉嘴的最佳方法。
21
You’re not fat. You’re just…easier to see.
你並不胖，你只是……
比較容易被認出來。22
-Are you crying?
-No, I’m having an allergic reaction.
-To what?
-To life.
——你在哭嗎？
——沒有，我只是過敏了。
——對什麼過敏？
——人生。
23
THE BEST FEELINGS IN THE WORLD
-Hot showers
-The first bite of a meal when you’re really
-Tight hugs
-Crawing into, the bed after a long day.
-Forehead kisses
-Waking up in the morning and actually
feeling like you had enough sleep
世界上最好的感覺：
-沖熱水澡
-飢餓的時候吃到第一口飯
-緊緊的擁抱
-在累了一天之後爬上床
-額頭上的親吻
-早上醒來感到自己得到了充足的睡眠
——本文摘自《我只是對人生過敏》
分享到Line